It's a Fear of the Heart

Actually, it's a fear of disease of the heart.

And after several sessions with a therapist, whom I've been going to see for a little over a year now, I have been officially diagnosed with Cardiophobia.

Of course I still suffer from the maladies that brought me to MedHelp in the first place - Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, and the occasional flare-up of Bronchitis.

But, this Cardiophobia explains a lot. Essentially, it is a psychological condition wherein one is so convinced they have heart disease or are going to have a heart attack that it becomes an all-consuming emotional obsession. People who have had heart attacks can have it, of course- anyone who has suffered through a heart attack, I'm sure, can be easily terrified of repeating the experience.

But, cardiophobia actually seems to be more common among people who haven't had a heart attack or any experience with heart disease.

And according to my therapist, cases of it are on the increase.

She theorizes that it is because there is a lot of talk about heart disease, heart attacks, and the symptoms on TV and that if a subject like that gets drummed into one's head enough they could develop an anxiety condition on the subject.

I know this is what happened to me.

Think about it - TV commercials for Bayer Aspirin featuring strapping young hunks not a day over 37 going on about their heart attacks they suffered 10 years ago (putting the "character" in the commercial at about 27). Reality shows where equally strapping gents pat their chest and mock-panic that they're having a heart attack after exerting themselves as much as I do taking out our garbage !

This sort of thing would be enough to panic anyone, especially a man at or around 40.

So... how did I get cardiophobia, being a female still climbing the ladder to 35 ?

Easy - I had high blood pressure when I was pregnant. And since then I've been acutely aware of the risks of heart disease and stroke for women, and even more aware of how it is often ignored by advertisers, etc;, in favor of targeting middle-aged men as the highest risk group, who are in a presumed better position financially when it comes to buying medicines, medical insurance, and such.

Add to that, a bout of flu and an allergic reaction to antibiotics that lead me into a case of chronic bronchitis, fibromyalgia, and CFS, and I not only began suffering all sorts of pains all over my body (including my chest pains) but I had some difficulty breathing, and began to suffer panic attacks. I described my panic attacks in my last journal entry:

==But my main enemy all summer long was panic attacks. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to take a bunch of drugs and experience a bunch of side effects. So, I just kept pestering my doctor about the condition of my heart, holding my loyal terrier in my lap, and sitting in my yard crying and worrying.... ==

Panic attacks... about the health of my heart...

And after a year of therapy, dealing not only with my panic attacks but with other issues, I am now an official cardiophobia patient.

And now... therapy... specifically targeted at dealing with my cardiophobia and giving me back a quality of life that I had before I began worrying that all I had to do was break a sweat and I was doomed to death from a Myocardial Infarction !