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Moving out!!

Jul 29, 2008 01:01PM - 4 comments

I have decided that I am going to move out so I can get on with my life. I have 2 condos I'm going to look at tomorrow. When my state of mind is directly related to my bad home life there is no way I can stay. I'm so tired and unmotivated right now that I need to find the energy to start packing my stuff and get the hell out of this palce. My husband doesn't understand my disease and really doesn't care. I've given him 12 years of my life that I have now lost and I want to get my life back, happy & healthy. I know someday I'll meet someone nice who does understand and won't say mean and nasty things about my disease.
I think it will be better for my son, I can tell he is suffering and unhappy. No kid should have to be that way. He's very sensitive like I am and we both can't stand the screaming and yelling that takes place in this house. Everytime my husband sreams and yells it cuts right to my core and makes me feel sick to my stomach. I can't sleep, can't eat, and can't focus on anything!
I made a huge mistake moving back in with him, I should have stayed away and never come back. Now I have to pay $1200 in rent, have no job and little savings. I can't find a god damn job and have sent out 100's of resumes.
When the hell is it going to fall into place for me? When am I going to be able to sleep nad feel better again?
I can't take anymore or I'm going to fall apart!!

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by dominosarah, Jul 29, 2008 01:09PM
You dont deserve to be treated this way.  Noone should undermine someones disease.  I hope also he gets the help he needs too.  I used to look at my failed relationships as a mistake also.  Now i look at them as a learning experience.  I finally know what i want and what i dont.  You and your son will be fine.  Somehow it always works out.  Once you are out of that explosive environment the pieces will fall into place.  You need to take care of yourself and when that happens the other things start happening.  You are a very loving person and mother.  Dont let anyone tell you differently.  I wish i had the answers for you but they will come.  Im sending you a ton of strength as i think you are one hell of a woman.  Stay strong and stay true to yourself.               sara

by JMar63, Jul 29, 2008 01:17PM
There should be some type of womens shelter that you and your son could go to.  I know the in NC they have several of them.  They also help you look for employment.  Please look and see if you have one near you.
Also, I wanted to let you know that I was in a 10 year really bad marriage, very abusive.  And to my surprise, after I got away from him and was happier, the bipolar symtoms lessened. I can't say it will work for you, but I truly believe the BP is related to stress for some people.  I hope you can find a safe place.  As Sara mentioned, I am sure you are a very loving mother and a good person.  If ever there was a time to be strong, this is it.  And you CAN do it!!!   Have faith.  I will say a prayer for you and yoru son.


by triedeverymed, Jul 29, 2008 01:34PM
I have been out once before and things were better, I don't know why I moved back in, I did get sicker. I have a couple condos I'm looking at tomorrow and they are both available. It's just hard having to get the strength to move when the depression has hit so bad. I will have to find the strength someplace to get the job done.
Thanks for your support, I really appreciate it!!

by triedeverymed, Aug 02, 2008 02:39PM
I know I can do this and God has put a great opportunity in my path to make moving easier. I have to recognize this blessing and embrace it. I am finally able to start doing that. Lets see how things look on Monday when I see this fabulous condo, with brand new furniture and all. I thank God I'm not being forced out and have time to move with organization. I know I can do this if I have time to take it slow which is what I plan to do!!

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