Loss, my son only thirty minutes away

I am so upset I gave him his hoise warming party today and was so busy I let the tears stop for awhile but they are back now full force! I just don't think I can get through this, he has been by my side for 20 years ( his birthday is tomarrow) and I can't think of my life without him in it.I have two girls who are 5 and 6 and until they were born it was him and me as his Dad worked out of town and we only seen him on weekends. I just feel so lost and empty without him and I really could use some support and your prayers!

ok u know sandee for someone who says they are not much of a writer that was well written probably cause it came from the heart.u are obviousely a very caring mom to your kids.i left home at 19 as well my mom begged me to stay i felt like i broke her heart but we had a small house and i needed space after a couple of weeks she got better about it and enjoyed coming over to visit even stayed over a few times --we always got on well and even got on better after a while.i have two kids myself and always joke to them you will leave here someday and they say back no we will stay here forever i know they will leave someday and it will break my heart.i guess we all have to leave home sometime
i am sure u will see him often and with cell phones now u can talk anytime

hugs and prayers that u will be ok
sorry this post is late

I know it must be heartbreaking. I will have to go through that same thing soon with my oldest son.

Try to look at this from a different perspective: One of the things I try to do is remember how I was when I was that age, and how it is necessary for him to be out, just as I needed to be out of my parents home. And they had to be out from theirs. It hurt like crazy. I am 45 and still miss being at home with them. But it is part of growing up. We have to realize he is his own person, not an extension of me.


One day he will have a child leave home as well. Show him how to deal with the pain of that loss. So when the time comes for him to say goodbye to his son, you will have set a good example of getting through the pain in a successful way.


Hope this helps you in some small way.

Thanks so much! He did give me a key and told me I could come over any time but it is different than having him home. I went and bought him a bedroom suite and living room furniture today and cried the whole time. The ladies at Ashley furniture must have thought I was insane:)

Sandee,

I know exactly how you feel except I can't go visit my son.  He was my world and now he's gone.  I guess everything happens for a reason, I just haven't figured out what this reason is yet.

Melissa I am so sorry and your right in my opinion I do think everything happens for a reason and we will see it if were lucky if not we have to trust that God knows what he is doing:)

why cant you go to see your son,

Sandee, Beautiful poetry. You heart was in your words and I could have written those ten years ago. Life stages I call them. I was so young when I had my sons. they grew up with me. I could not imagine a life without them. As I watched them move out my heart was torn from my chest. It has gotten better and almost..... I said it almost seems normal not to have them "home." They come home often and it is wonderful. I visit them but thou they are great hosts I am never very comfortable bacause they still belong with me. I hope some of your heartache is easing. It will get better. You did a great job and from the day he was born you groomed him for the day he would be on his own. You'll always be number one with him, he just needs to try those wings you helped him grow so wonderfully. It's the circle of life. God Bless, Tuck

I hope you are spiritual,  and I hope you will know that for some parents, they would give their life to have their child "only 30 minutes away", I hope you will thank your God for the gift you have been given of a healthy strong son that you can visit or call or write to at anytime, and he with you, as well.   And I hope you are grateful for the 2 beautiful daughters you have with you now.     I envy you and all that you have of your children.  You are a very blessed woman, and I truly hope  or know you realize how fortunate you are.

My best wishes to your son as he begins this new chapter in his life,  and I wish happiness for you and your family.        

Sandee,

My boys decided to live with their father when we divorced 8 yrs ago.  My oldest, now nearly 21 has moved out to his own place and has a child of his own.  I saw very little of the oldest son over the past 8 years.  Just today during court was the 1st time I got to see my Grandson who is over 6 months old now.  I know how it feels to have your child go away.  It certainly wasnt my choice for my boys to live with their dad.  My son lives just a few blocks away.  He usually comes to me when he has a problem.  It had been over a year since I had heard from him.  Then whamo he called and needed help.  So now he loves dear ol mom again.  All we can do is love our kids and make sure the door is open when they find their way back to us.  I know I raised my kids the right way.  I know their Dad had some bad influences on their lives.  I know what I taught my kids when they were young gives them the knowledge to make good choices when those choices are to be made.  All we can do is give guidance and unconditional love and keep the door open so when they do need to come back home, they have a way to get there.  My son changed his entire life plan to take care of his baby.  He was to join the AirForce and go to college, then work with NORAD or something like that.  Instead, because his girlfriend was still in highschool, he found a full time job, with insurance and stayed home to help care for his baby so she could finish highschool.  I commend him for that and am very proud even though it breaks my heart that he screwed up.  It isnt the baby's fault, so we have to make the best of it.  Everything happens for a reason, we will have to see how this one ends.... good luck to you and your son, I will pray for you both.

Sandee,

So many people have given you good advice.  I have 3 daughters and they have all left home and I cried each time and thought the pain would never go away.  Now, they are married and bring so many blessing when we visit each other.  I am blessed with 8 grandchildren.  Time does have a way of healing all wounds.  God has a special plan for your son as He does for you.
I personally want to thank you for everytime I write you seem to be one of the first to answer.  Just don't put too much on yourself and visit your son as much as you can then one day the pain will be less and joy will replace your pain.
Take care sweetie,
Dee

Sandeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


You are so cute.......:-)))

I have a perfect son too, I left him in Indiana and moved 6 hours away and you know he stayed that perfect son, I came back to Indiana and he still is perfect he is wonderful. My comments to you is never forget to tell him how much you love him and hug him every chance you get... he will always be pefect and just get better..  I write this with tears running down my face. remember how wonderful of a job you did raising him and he will someday do the same with his children. you are truly a wonderful person and mom, be proud of him and yourself...


Karen