Jul 13, 2008 07:52PM
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So, what if the Witnesses are right? If so, then Jehovah can see what's in my heart, and that means The Icepick, Sweetling, and I will be together in the Garden to come after armageddon (sp?). If I make it to the Garden, of course. That's not too likely, is it?
I don't see enough of Sweetling, that's a fact. Apparently hubby's turning over a new leaf was a lot of hot air. Oh, he'll still try for a day or so, then back to the same old inconsiderate ways. The only thing that prevents me from taking care of her and treating her as she should be treated is the evil of jealousy. What a useless freakin' world this is. I wouldn't give you half a buck for the whole thing if not for certain folks on it.
Lordy Maisey McGillicutty but I'm tired of it all. So, so, so tired.
Next I'll get some judgemental folks telling me they don't see the purpose of this "post", so please be advised that this is not a "post", this is a JOURNAL, okay? Sometimes things just get to be too much, so I'll scratch my feelings down in here. Some things there's no one to talk to about. The only people I can talk to about these things are far away, in Canada and California and Ireland and like that. They're not always here, though, and they probably become weary of my whining like a lovesick teeny bopper. Hence this journal. This journal doesn't grow weary of my silliness.
I need to be with Sweetling more often, to take better care of her, to offset the damage done by her fool of a husband. Just in case there really is a God I pray every day that the Icepick and Sweetling could learn to love one another. Is that such a terrible thing to want? I hear so much idiocy.. I see so much idiocy.. I speak so much idiocy.. is there no room, anywhere, for a little plain and simple caring without all the modifiers?
Only in dreams is this world worth living in. The Witnesses say that Satan is ruler of this system of things. That makes a great deal of sense. Sure wish I had faith in a higher power.. with that and what the Witnesses teach, life would be great. However, no miracles seem to be forthcoming. So it's mine to watch the world struggle along, glorifying greed and posessiveness, calling foolish pride love ("Oh, I love him so much, but if he touched another woman I'd leave him"... what a stupid, stupid statement.. what she loves is herself, and her pride controls her so-called "love"). It's mine to watch the body bags continuing to return, and all the veterans turn over in their graves as "the people" blindly follow malevolent "leaders" to destruction... AGAIN. It's mine to watch the strrets, where a stream of Lexus and Lincoln and Cadillac automobiles stream past a homeless vagabond.
If they're right, the 'pick and Sweetling and I could end up together in the Garden. I've got to hold on to that thought.
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