Gaming addiction...and recovery

How are you today?  Addiction is addiction - I think you're right about that.  Some addictions, left untreated, will actually kill you, in addition to ruining your day to day life. Other physical addictions, such as smoking, may kill you, but smokers function very well in society and rarely risk losing their jobs, family, and friends. It sounds like a gaming addiction fall somewhere in the middle. I have a kind of funny story for you. My dad held an important position in the state legislature, was highly educated, worked hard all his life, and was (and is now) a wonderful person.  But can you believe he got "addicted" to PacMan in the early 80's, when he was 62 or 63???  It was out of the blue; my son had a spare PacMan game, so we put it at my folks house.  We laugh about it now (he is 87 and still as sharp as a tack) but it scared us all, starting with my mom, 26 years ago. It lasted about 6 months, but while it did, he was crazed, and would totally agree that games can be an addiction. He stayed up until 3:00 a.m. and tried to get my son, husband, and me, when we were visiting, to stay up with him. He rather suddenly realized that it was sheer madness and stopped cold turkey, but he talked about "missing it" (like a friend) until his total sanity came back. It was addiction, no doubt about it. Not just daily, but 8 or more hours every night, after dinner. We kid him constantly now (but suggest he never touch another video game again).  Hang in there......

I made the big mistake of "marrying" someone who was addicted to gambling and along with that, alcohol.  It was terrible.  I've never stopped paying for this mistake because we had kids.  He walked out years ago and haven't seen him since - it was the best thing he ever did.  He didn't think he was an addict because he didn't play poker or cards but there are other forms of gambling.

You've been there when I needed help and I don't know if this is helping you or not but I REALLY think you are doing the right thing.  We can become addicted to anything - there have been times when I've felt addicted to MH.

Hope you are getting along alright.  Admitting the addiction is a big part of getting through it.

Please message me or send me a note or anything if I can help you in any way.  I don't know much about autism and your other problems but I do know you are a genuinely gifted, talented and caring person.

So far I think I'm doing pretty well. I'm not perfect, but then again no one is. I'm glad some time last year I quit the games. I am still obsessive to whatever task I focus on at the time. I'm hoping that if I can focus on something constructive, I can go far. My dad used to joke, rather seriously, if I put half as much effort into working for the Nobel Prize as I did on neopets I could probably make it.

I think some degree of "addiction" or at least compulsive behavior runs in our family.  I don't know any alcoholics personally in our immediate family, but my mom did have a smoking addiction. She quit long ago and I am proud of her.  She too went through various gaming addictions. One of them was Mine Sweeper that comes with windows. Before that she would play tetras and a few other games.  Then there was an online chat obsession... Yeah...  In her family one of my uncles used to do angel dust. I don't know how long he's been clean. Another uncle used to gamble. I don't know if he still does or not.  One of my aunts may possibly be an alcoholic (had to be bailed out of jail for some kind of infraction), but I don't know her story that well.  We don't keep much in contact with my mom's family.  From what I remember a few of them were chain smokers.  I think I can say addiction and compulsive behavior of some form does seem to run in our family.

In the mean time it seems writing and forum posting has become my new focus, which I think is good.  (though I did have to back away from one forum community not on medhelp because I found myself too attatched emotionally) I told grandma about what I just posted here with the games and she was pretty happy.

I think that may also be why I tend to sympathize and relate to alcoholics, addicts etc, even though I haven't exactly been in their shoes. I also do a lot of lurking and tend to absorb a lot of info. I don't view autism like many people may. (And I definately don't agree with the portrayal of autism that organizations like Autism Speaks crams down the throats of the mainstream for "Autism Awareness.")

If any of you have seen some of those videos, messages, etc, you know what I am talking about. For those who haven't seen, usually you get confronted with young toddlers who are having a terrible meltdown, or children/adults who seem to be "trapped in their own body." Usually such videos play off the negatives and may even go with not quite accurate information... For one thing I don't believe autistic people lack imagination, affection, etc... They may or may not show it the same way, but it is there.

Autism is a disorder to a degree, but it also has its strengths. I think having a pretty good long term memory and being able to store lots of information is one of those strengths.  I notice that with a bit of autistic individuals, including some nonverbal autistic people I may find posting on the internet. Some autistic individuals like me are blessed with the ability to imagine things in great detail and see pictures in our heads. Others may not have that ability. I suspect there is that in the non autistic population as well. I view autism like any other thing. We each are born with our own set of strengths and weaknesses.  One of those ongoing things is to find ways to get around or overcome those weaknesses. Sometimes it takes using those weaknesses and making them into strengths.

I always thought of autism as being something that allows "everything in" - almost everything that can been seen, heard, etc. gets in and the autistic person has to work at "focusing" to get it out.  For some reason, I associated it with people who are extremely intelligent and creative NOT people who are "slow".  The very few autistic people I know are vastly different from each other.  Some need lots of structure; others need very little.  Even taking so-called negative emotions and channeling them towards something constructive or creative is a good thing.  Anger can be useful at times if it isn't aimed at hurting others.

If gma2 supports what you're doing - you're doing the right thing.  She has a lot of "insight" IMHO.

Most of us probably are addicted to something to some degree.  Is being addicted the same as being obsessed with?  My mother was a smoker and just gave it up.  Instead of smoking, she'd eat something so she just changed one addiction for another.  I think her being Native American made her hate alcohol although I have no memory of any alcoholism in our family.  My father would have a beer once in awhile but never have more than two and even then it was rare.  I used to borrow his beer to rinse my hair.  If I'm addicted to anything it would likely be reading.  I can't stand not having something to read.  When I was writing my dissertation, I used to take breaks by playing solitaire on the computer  lol  THAT was an addiction.  This computer doesn't have solitaire  = (

I didn't think you viewed autism in a negative way. Most of the people I see on the forum appear to have a better perspective than many people. Not on this forum, but on another (the one I had to back away from), I'd find parents and individuals autistic and not who seriously need to think about what they type before they hit the reply button. Sometimes there can be heated discussions about what causes autism and whether or not it should be "cured"  I have a pretty strong opinion but I do try to look at both sides to gain a better perspective.

There does appear to be a filtering issue. I was looking up low latent inhibition (which was suggested to me from another member) and a link to intelligence/iq and mental disorders.  I have an "average" iq and I don't put much faith in the iq rating system and the high/low iq being the deciding factor between genius/mental illness, but otherwise found the article fascinating.  I was reading up on comments and found it a bit disheartening that people wanted to have it become known as a disability and find treatments to relieve themselves of it, just to fit in better...

I guess with my autism I see this more than ever. There's a craze, an inborn drive for people to "fit in" and some people would give anything they have just to be "normal".  As far as being "normal" and "fitting in", that is very unlikely for me, but then again is it a bad thing?  I don't think so. When I look for friends, I like those who are like me, not concerned about trying to keep up with the latest fads, etc...

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As far as the hang-ups associated with autism some are beyond my control, but many of them I find I can work on. For instance being shy and not interested in social activities. I can choose to get out of my comfort zone, give an acquaintance my phone # and invite them over. I did that with a friend for the 4th of July and we had fun.

Sensitivity:  A lot of things can bother me, but sometimes I can force myself to put up with it. Sometimes I can't.  Sometimes it's great to speak up for my needs and have things resolved, that can be.  I find that tends to work with burned out flickering bulbs. If I speak up, I tend to get good results and the lights get replaced.

Aversion to change: If I can get a heads up and prepare myself it helps. I want to know that will be changed and the reason behind changes. When I know the reason, it helps me understand why the change is happening. I may still have my personal opinion and I may disagree... For instance I still disagree with the change in my job that requires me to stand and sort jewery instead of sitting... I made my case and explained my point. I still don't like the change, but at least I feel better knowing I spoke with a few people including my case manager about the issue.

Food dislikes/ aversions:  I have to _make_ myself eat some foods I normally wouldn't eat if the occasion calls for it. For instance eating a cold chicken salad sandwich at a party.  I ate it, enjoyed it as much as I can, even though given the choice I wouldn't opt to eat it again if I was the one making the order for everyone...

Of course everyone's mileage may vary with autism, but I believe a lot has to do with self will and maturity. Maturity wise it's a **** shoot from about age 2-6, even later for some, especially the people with more classic Kanner like autism.  From an early age it's hard to tell how the child will develop. That’s why I like to encourage parents to hope for the best and work with their children and help them develop a strong sense of confidence with their child's autism rather than against it.  I strayed far from the original topic here, but at least got myself some ideas for blogging material.