i understand that you are angry that you were banned from the forum...but your nonsense of coming back to the forum over and over with different screen names needs to stop.  for someone who always "acted" as if you wanted harmony on the forum...you sure are showing a different side of yourself.

you are NOT hurting the ones that you are setting out to hurt.  you are hurting the innocent ppl on this forum.  enough is enough.  stop being soooooo childish and accept your fate.  

oh yeah...dont send me any more ugly pm's...i had them traced to you!!!!!

well....................................apparently "God" had his hands on someone else.

lies...lies...lies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  today is his 14th day of no sleep...very little food...and very little to drink.  he is a skeleton of himself...horrible...ugly...looks like a "meth addict"...hell...lol...he is a freaking meth addict!  he used this morning...again...and has been at my house for the last four hours.  it is such a lovely sight to sit and look at my son...physically EXHAUSTED...but unable to close his eyes.  he can hardly walk from the couch to the bathroom without giving out.  he is unable to control the jerking and twitching his body is going through.  it is ugly...

i called the university of alabama...where he is being treated for the hiv...because i am terribly concerned about his health.  i was given four inpatient rehabs in birmingham that would accept him as a pt. for only five hundred dollars.  these are 90 day programs and something that he sooooooooooo desperately needs.  he has cried...screamed...he wants to go...but doesnt.  90 days seems like a lifetime to him right now.  he is scared of disappointing his family again...scared that it will all be for nothing...scared that he will always be a dope addict.  I AM SCARED FOR HIS LIFE!!!!!

in MY anger...i just freaking blew it!!!!  i'm mad as hell and needed to scream at someone too.  my mother was the victim.  i know that my son is an addict and he is responsible...but my mother has enabled the hell out of him for the last 10 years...and unfortunately i let her have it with both barrels.  i'm not proud of it...but i needed to do it!!!!!  in some strange way...i feel like she made this mess and SHE needs to freaking deal with it...not me damnit.

i had to make just one more attempt to get through to christian last night before i could lay my head on the pillow.  emotionally, i was drained...physically, my adrenaline was pumping at a rate beyond my control.  i decided to send him a text message...hoping that seeing the words in black and white, might somehow make a difference.  my message was simple.  

"there are alot of ppl who are saying prayers for you...right now.  i ask that you open your heart and feel the Lord's presence...open your eyes to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel...and open your ears to hear the prayers being sent your way.  if my love could "fix" you...you would not be in this place in your life...you would not be scared...you would not be lost.  there is a better way but you have to travel that road to get there."

he texted me back about an hour later saying that he was safe and at home.  

thank you to those who said a prayer for christian last night...the power of prayer is a wonderful thing :)