a horrible time.

[cblondien]

I'm new to signing up here, but i've read the forums now for a while.  I am addicted to oxycodone. you know, thirties. and i've recently flown out to hawaii to visit my dad and am having the worst possible time ever. i mean. it had been about 2 months without stopping for atleast one day.  atleast 30 mg a day. more around 60 to 90 . all i want to say is that its really so hard so hard. and i sit here crying because i don't know what to do. i'm so depressed; i'll be here a month, and i really hope by the end of that month - i will no longer want them.    I started detoxing on the plane. i still had 12 more hours of flying to go when the worst pains in my back and legs came. i am miserable. today  is day 4.
if anyone could give any support, i'd be grateful.

[britney1663]

Hi and welcome! I sent you a PM...

[marcatj]

day 4... you should start to feel better in a day or so.  really...

and physically, it's only uphill from here.

this is how most of us feel or felt when going through withdrawals, in fact, for me, the depression and crying was as bad (to me) as the physical stuff.

just remind yourself this feeling - this despair - is only the withdrawals, and it WILL pass.  just remind yourself it's the drugs. that helped me to know, so i realized i wasn't falling into some dark pit of depression i might never get out of.  it will pass...

once you start to feel better, think about how you are going to address the cravings when you get home.  because they will likely hit.  and you want some sort of plan to fall back on. honest to God - getting off the pills is the EASY part.  staying off is the real work.

hang in there girl, you are going to get through this!! and again - day 4 - you really should start to feel better soon.

and keep posting! and posting and posting.  it's helps so much. the weekends tend to be a little slower, so don't be discouraged if you don't get a ton of responses today. because you definitely will when "everyone" is here.

it really helps to know that you aren't the only one going through this, and that what you are going through many of us have felt the exact same thing.  you will get through this..

just hold on sister.  go outside and enjoy the beauty if you can, let it sink in to your bones... and know, you will feel better very, very soon.

warmly,
mj

[ochooked]

Hang in there girl.  You can do this.  Day 4???   Wow, you are almost home.  The W/D's should really be letting up soon.  There are many of us who only wish we were on such a low dose to have to come down from :).   Just wanted to let you know we are rooting for you.   Ochooked

[NautyOne]

I can't even imagine going thru withdrawal ON A PLANE.......Holy Cow you are a tough cookie......And, on day 4 is fantastic.....I know it doesn't feel like it now, but it will get better......like the above poster said....try to think of it as what it is, your light will shine again soon!.....I promise.....It just doesn't feel like it right now, but it will.

God Bless,
Nauty..............

[FriaryGrad]

Four days is great....don't give up now.  Please go to an NA or AA meeting today; it will be incredibly helpful, and you will get lots of support to make it to day 5, and 6, and 7, you get the idea.  If you don't have the willingness to go, desperation will suffice for now. So don't even give life to a thought like "I don't want to go to NA/AA."  How did your life work out when you were doing what you "wanted" to do?  Neither did mine.   You don't have to want to go, it's enough for now if you just "want to want to" and are desperate enough to give it a try.  You're strong; you proved that already.  Now it's time to ask for help....if you reach out it will be there.  I'll be praying for you......

[addictedme]

"our disease always resurfaced or continued to progress until,in desperation we sought help from each other in na". Desperation is what drives many of us to ask for help. Once weve reached this state,we can turn around and start anew. Just for today,,"the gift of desperation has helped me become honest, open minded and willing. Iam grateful for this gift because it has made my recovery possible"

[cblondien]

see, i've been on these for about a year  or so. the longest i could stay off of them was ten days.    the cravings were just too hard. i mean, sometimes its all you can think about.  if i could have one now, i would. and isn't that horrible?  it must sound it.

[worried878]

I know it must be awful to feel this way on a trip to hawaii...my dream vaction but i sure wouldnt want to be in wds...but u have to make the best out of it since u r there...lots of support here...plead the flu for a bit but u should be close...if u had no prior addictions then 2 months is not a long time and u should be feeling better very soon....have u gotten the vitamins and amino acids?..walking on the beach to relieve the depression and anxiety would help as well..keep posting

[GoingToMakeIt]

Go to your local store and get some really dark 70%+ chocolate. It helps the mood and the cravings. You only need a little bite here and there.

[cblondien]

i know, its like the absolute worst time to come off of them! i mean, before not quitting for atleast one day,   it had been months as well. like 3.  and so on up to a little over a year... life seems so dull.  a little blue pill makes everything better. :(

[LateAugust]

No  that pill makes everything so much harder, delays the inevitable,  and just causes all of the harm to become more severe.  My daughter can get thru the oxy physical w/ds, for her the mental is absolutely the hardest.       While you are in HA  please take the time to not only let your body heal   but please check into an addiction councelor, NA AA   any and all the support you can to get past the mental addiction as well.

Does your dad know your about your use?

[cblondien]

no, he knows absolutely nothing...

[LateAugust]

Honey, are you sure he doesn't have any idea?   With the distance (mileage) between you, is it easy to hide?  Do you feel comfortable talking about this with your dad?ma

There are so many dynamics,  and I can't know your situation, but perhaps you need your dad's help and support right now,  and if you have a good relationship with your father, the honestly can be a huge step forward on your road to sobriety.    I can't pretend to know your relationship, or how your dad may respond.  But I will ask you search within and think if it is possible to be completely honest with your family.  Sometimes  that simply isn't an option.  I hope for you it is.

Can you talk to your dad about this?

[briannentx]

I was addicted to the oc's also for about 3 yrs..At 1st i thought it was a miracle i could go out walk around and do normal things again but my mind and body became addicted..If only i new what was in store for me..I was tired of the ups and downs with the meds plus i already had depression, so it made that even worse.. After debating on what to do and praying about it, I decided to get on methadone. For me, at that time it was the best thing..My life fell back into a normal groove and i stopped thinking of meds almost altogether within a few months..Its been 3 yrs ago that i started the methadone and am still taking it now.. I have tried to get off it also because its not cheap( but alot cheaper than the other meds were by far) and i could buy a new car note for the price a month...Thats being my big drive right now, i want a new car bad! Anyways, i'm gonna go through a detox and rehab here in the next couple of months.. Does your family know? If not, you may wanna tell them so you can have a multiple support system and see what you think will be the right way for you to quit..( Go to AA or NA ) Get a good sponser they make a world of difference because they will be there 4 u day or nite !!! I hated being a slave to the painkillers and the withdrawls every time i turned around !!!  I wish you the best of luck on your voyage of change!! Bri

[cblondien]

i see my father once a year. we are normallly 4000 miles apart. so, he doesn't know.



thank you so much ^^

[LateAugust]

Good luck cblondien   if you ever want a parent's view point, please message me any time, I am here for you, in whatever small way that may be.    It is still afternoon for you, I hope you can lay in the sun  and enjoy the beauty.  Take good care,  and stay strong!!         You need to focus on you and your health,   I wish only the best for you!!

[NautyOne]

No it doesn't sound bad.....its addiction..... or, what I prefer to call "THE GRIP OF DEATH" not literally.....of course.....


Hang in there hun.......<3
luv,
nauty......