I need help understanding

[DWORKS]

I really love my boyfriend but I think he is in denial.  When we first started dating he smoked 1-2 cigarettes/week.  Then it progressed to marijuanna, probably 2 blunts a day, a case a beer a week, 2 cases of beer per week, then he started doing cocaine. And when he went out he would do xanex and x pills.  But on a regulary basis he drinks about 3, 22oz beers/day, and smokes 3 marijuanna blunts.  How can I help him or can I?

[10356]

He is drinking a lot and doing the xanex while drinking very dangerous, cocaine also very worrisome and highly addictive. It's obvious he has a problem just by the amount of beer he's drinking looking for the buzz, only he can stop you can not make him stop.. Does he know you are this worried about him, does he know how unhappy you are with his actions are there alcoholics in his family,, If you answered yes to any of these you have a problem also..
You have come to a great place for support as I'm sure you will get a lot of good advice..
Just beware love does not necessarily cure addictions.. Tale care  lesa

[wannabefree330]

You can't help him but there are things you can do for yourself.  First off, I'd tell him what you see happening, and that it concerns you because you love him.  Then, show him this site and suggest he get help for his addictions.  He is dealing with multiple drugs, so w/o professional help, it would be very very difficult. Find an Alanon meeting in your area and go.  They are people w/loved ones who have addiction and you can learn how to stop enabling him and remove yourself from his addiction but still be involved with his life.  Start with some boundaries.  Make sure he knows what you're willing to tolerate and what you will NOT.  Then tell him what consequences he'll face if he crosses the boundaries.  (ie:  I won't allow you to smoke pot if you are around me, or will be around me.  If you do, you'll have to find somewhere else to sleep.  ie:  I will support you 100% if you want to seek help.  If you don't, I can't guarantee I'll stick around to see you be this way.)  His use has obviously gotten worse over time, adding more and more.  It will only get worse as more time goes on.  Like i said, Alanon, counseling for yourself, counseling for couples, learn as much as you can about addiction.  His actions are because of the drugs and alcohol and hey, maybe he recognizes the prob too and is just waiting for someone to give him the push he needs to stop.

Keep us posted and stay strong.

[gizzy32]

it is true that an addict has to help themselves first, but i do believe that in some cases an addicts bottom can be created to open their eyes to help see their behaviour and damage it's causing. im not sure your situation, but under no condition should you enable his use. although in most cases something drastic happens to an addict that makes them seek help, it would not hurt to sit down and talk about your concern to him. as long as he is in denial, he will not quit. xanex and alcohol are a deadly mix, you should start by letting him know this, best of luck you and him.

[fishmeal]

I know about the zanex and alcohol!  It is straight up evil!!