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Sexuality & Relationships (Expert Forum)
i carnt ***
Answered by
Janice M Epp, PhD - Female sexual issues, Adolescent sexuality, Male sexual issues
Private Practice
Palo Alto - CA
This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
i carnt ***
by lgs6uk, Jun 29, 2008 05:25PM
well i have being have sex with my boyfriend for nearly 3 months now nd everytime i have sex i get nothing every now and then i get this ting feel that feels nice but thats it . i have tryed fingering but i get nothing and when he plays wif me i get wet really easliy but i dnt get anything ??? and everytime we have sex he cums but he can never make me *** & i crnt make my self *** or even have enjoyment out of fingering ?
please someone tell me whats the matter
please someone tell me whats the matter
Doctor's Answer
by Janice M Epp, PhD, Jul 01, 2008 02:41PM
, Jul 01, 2008 02:41PM
To: lgs6uk
Hi.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I hear from women who expect to have orgasms from penis-vagina sex (p-v) alone. (I’m assuming that’s what you mean when you refer to “having sex”). Please know that there’s nothing the matter with you.
It’s not surprising that “fingering” isn’t getting you off. In women, the clitoris must be stimulated—either directly or indirectly—in order for orgasm to happen. The vagina, all by itself, is not all that rich with sensory nerve endings. In fact, only the first couple inches of are very sensitive, and they tend to be more responsive to direct stimulation rather than the more general stimulus p-v usually provides. For sure, plenty of women enjoy p-v immensely. From a physical perspective, that feeling of fullness can be nice, and can also provide some stimulation of the clitoris’ internal structure. Some sexual positions -- like women being on top, for instance -- can also provide more direct clitoral stimulation.
A major difference between women and men is that generally, the clitoris needs constant direct or indirect stimulation, unlike the penis. For most women, orgasm results from a constant circular motion around the shaft and glans (or head) of the clitoris. Also important is that once a woman’s orgasm begins, if the stimulation is removed, the orgasm will end. In contrast, once men have that first orgasmic contraction, not even a neutron bomb will stop their orgasm!
While many women enjoy p-v sex, for at least 40-50% of them, it usually doesn’t result in orgasm. Why? Because most p-v sex doesn’t provide the steady pressure and reliable stimulation women need for orgasm. During p-v sex, most men use an “in-out” motion that feels great for them, instead of the circular grinding motion that will stimulate the clitoris.
It takes time and practice to learn about your own orgasms before you share them with a partner. The best way to find out what you like is to experiment when you’re alone. Check out the area around your clitoris first. Be sure to use some lubrication and gently touch around the top and sides to find out what feels good. You may need to do this many times before you get comfortable and used to the intensity. Find the sensitive spots that feel good. The best part of this learning experience is that it’s fun!
Once you understand your own body’s responses, then you can begin to share them with your partner—even more fun! What could be better than experimenting and exploring one another and telling each other what you like? Be patient. It takes time to learn and to build up trust, but if you do this now, you’ll be setting yourself up for yummy sex for the rest of your life. Good luck! Dr. J
I wish I had a dollar for every time I hear from women who expect to have orgasms from penis-vagina sex (p-v) alone. (I’m assuming that’s what you mean when you refer to “having sex”). Please know that there’s nothing the matter with you.
It’s not surprising that “fingering” isn’t getting you off. In women, the clitoris must be stimulated—either directly or indirectly—in order for orgasm to happen. The vagina, all by itself, is not all that rich with sensory nerve endings. In fact, only the first couple inches of are very sensitive, and they tend to be more responsive to direct stimulation rather than the more general stimulus p-v usually provides. For sure, plenty of women enjoy p-v immensely. From a physical perspective, that feeling of fullness can be nice, and can also provide some stimulation of the clitoris’ internal structure. Some sexual positions -- like women being on top, for instance -- can also provide more direct clitoral stimulation.
A major difference between women and men is that generally, the clitoris needs constant direct or indirect stimulation, unlike the penis. For most women, orgasm results from a constant circular motion around the shaft and glans (or head) of the clitoris. Also important is that once a woman’s orgasm begins, if the stimulation is removed, the orgasm will end. In contrast, once men have that first orgasmic contraction, not even a neutron bomb will stop their orgasm!
While many women enjoy p-v sex, for at least 40-50% of them, it usually doesn’t result in orgasm. Why? Because most p-v sex doesn’t provide the steady pressure and reliable stimulation women need for orgasm. During p-v sex, most men use an “in-out” motion that feels great for them, instead of the circular grinding motion that will stimulate the clitoris.
It takes time and practice to learn about your own orgasms before you share them with a partner. The best way to find out what you like is to experiment when you’re alone. Check out the area around your clitoris first. Be sure to use some lubrication and gently touch around the top and sides to find out what feels good. You may need to do this many times before you get comfortable and used to the intensity. Find the sensitive spots that feel good. The best part of this learning experience is that it’s fun!
Once you understand your own body’s responses, then you can begin to share them with your partner—even more fun! What could be better than experimenting and exploring one another and telling each other what you like? Be patient. It takes time to learn and to build up trust, but if you do this now, you’ll be setting yourself up for yummy sex for the rest of your life. Good luck! Dr. J
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no i was a virgin when i started with him ?
no i am not on medication but i have xmer ( i dnt knw how u spell it ) but its a skin condition its not bad at all i have cream for that but thats not ment to affect my healht or anything in anyway ??